21.june.2026

Dear reader,

There’s a kind of detachment during this trip back. I think more so than any other trips, I have been too preoccupied with work in a way that it has consumed my entire being. As such, returning to isle of dreams actually required readjusting, recalibrating and to a very large extent, reacquainting with who I was just 5 months ago. I found myself questioning if that version can still exist while balancing additional responsibilities. It occured to me that if there was anything that could restructure the chaos in my brain, it’d be to write about it. 

It’s easy to get caught up with the realities of life isn’t it? If there’s anything the past 5 months have taught me, it’s that life moves fast. I know what everyone has to say about it, the quote is over used at this point. But my thing is - what happens when you stop and still miss it? 

For anyone who has looked to this house on a hill as a form of escapism, I’m beginning to finally understand where you’re coming from. I'll be honest, I never particularly saw it that way. Because when you spend half your life living this way, it just becomes a part of your daily routine. As such, I’ve always had my rose tinted glasses because I come from a place of privilege. The luxury of being able to do this for the past 3 years. To be able to park our life in Singapore, travel to Okayama to live an alternate reality. Pause the grind, run to the forest to breathe, create, exist without pressures. Touch grass if I should so want to. Literally, the garden is overgrown now. 

With how 2026 has been going, that part of my brain who had always romanticise our life here had a wake up call. That when separated from this life for too long, it’s easy to recognise how much of a fever dream it can be.

I would also like to point out that we are so incredibly fortunate to be in a position where we have another form of recluse. Not everyone can fathom the thought of going on a retreat, let alone afford the extravagance of a 2nd home. I grapple with this on a daily basis and perhaps why it’s always been an open invitation anytime, anyone without any cost. It’s the least we can do for those who desperately need that respite. 

Honestly, I don’t know where I’m going with this. As I sit at my desk, completely preoccupied with a project that would continue to financially support our time here, I am reminded that while days are going by so quickly, life still must be lived. I know that by the time I can afford this breather, it's another round of packing, closing up, see ya again in 3 months. I guess I'll just take comfort in the fact that I managed to take 20 minutes out of my day today to appreciate my environment and let that be enough.

So please find enclosed, a transcendental sunset from our neighbourhood.

ash